SPIRITUALLY BURNED OUT?
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I'm someone who has been grown in the faith exclusively through reading on my own, no church attendance or any teacher guiding me but God, and not too long ago I'm confident I understood everything very well; even being given to 'see' Gods word and neatly correlate everything together even from books like Enoch and Esdras into the common canon, cross-examining everything with the world and finding it all to be true.
Problem was my social connection to any brothers was (and still kind of is) virtually nonexistent; being sheltered from people but having access to all sorts of information through the web and television, from the ouside looking into the world regarding faith all that's on display are how the masses view god as a vanity to window shop for, the errors of the institutional curches and the apostacy of those who boast in being "spiritual" leaders.
So I grew exceedingly arrogant in my heart and began to think I was someone uberspecial, searching the scriptures to try and figure out if any prophecy directly referenced me, thinking I could just divorce myself from reality and reap a reward from my own conceits. Fortunately God knocked me down a few pegs through a series of unfortunate events, and I became completely cooked and cut to peices by all the true implications of what the present means for myself and others.
Yep, I found the scriptures did directly reference me, but not in the proud way I had hoped. Now I'm slowly recovering admitidly with a log still somewhat in my eye, now fretful and worried with how all the nonsense effects the salvation of others, more bitter with how the faith is presented to the world, still a little nervous to interact with the people I share God with, but nevertheless beginning in hope to share my bread with others, attending some congregations and adding input where I can.
Problem was my social connection to any brothers was (and still kind of is) virtually nonexistent; being sheltered from people but having access to all sorts of information through the web and television, from the ouside looking into the world regarding faith all that's on display are how the masses view god as a vanity to window shop for, the errors of the institutional curches and the apostacy of those who boast in being "spiritual" leaders.
So I grew exceedingly arrogant in my heart and began to think I was someone uberspecial, searching the scriptures to try and figure out if any prophecy directly referenced me, thinking I could just divorce myself from reality and reap a reward from my own conceits. Fortunately God knocked me down a few pegs through a series of unfortunate events, and I became completely cooked and cut to peices by all the true implications of what the present means for myself and others.
Yep, I found the scriptures did directly reference me, but not in the proud way I had hoped. Now I'm slowly recovering admitidly with a log still somewhat in my eye, now fretful and worried with how all the nonsense effects the salvation of others, more bitter with how the faith is presented to the world, still a little nervous to interact with the people I share God with, but nevertheless beginning in hope to share my bread with others, attending some congregations and adding input where I can.